I figured I should write a little something about today. Felt a lot of different things today, morning laziness, worry, spirituality, major craving for chicken fingers,  my tennis shoes pounding the cement afterwards, my excitedness for seeing Bryan, my crazy love for him, and the end of a lot of confusion.

Bryan had his surgery today, it all went well ........ his mom had me a nervous wreck while waiting since there was some difficulties after surgery. That brought me to tears and a quiet prayer to myself on the front porch. But eventually I got too see him, I swear he's still the sexiest person I've ever seen, even all bandaged up.

Been looking a whole lot through my FTCC booklet and trying to make some decisions. At first I was angry looking at it, I've given up Wilmington for some pretty unselfish reasons but still it's all I really ever wanted. Just recently I've realized what I want is completely different from what I did want. I'm not gonna lie, being here with the person I love the most in this world influenced a lot. But I think that's what life is about, I'd never want a life that would take me away from him. Work is just something to get you by, he's what truly makes me happy. Don't get me wrong, I still want to do something that brings me happiness and my whole life I've been a hard worker so I want to do it right. But come Monday morning I'm going up to FTCC to register for the dental hygeinest program. Believe me it's not something that's ever crossed my mind before this week even began but the more I've looked into it the more I've grown a liking to it. Great money, great hours, and not to mention I've got the best grill you've probably ever seen . I think it is something I would like and I'm pretty excited that I have a plan, one that's not gonna take me away but can help me anywhere on the same note, and it's something I believe I'd be good at.

So......hmmm, well it's been a long time since I've written on here. Just got back from two weeks at Edisto Beach with Bryan and his family. It was awesome down there, fishing on the boat almost everyday, went shrimping, had to bite a head off of a live shrimp, I caught bunch of shark and all kinds of fish. But it's definitely nice to be home and not have to shower in salt water. Plus the last few days down there I didn't feel great since I got wiped out boogey boarding and scraped my whole body up including my face. How lame is that, plus I got bit by a crazy spider and me and Bryan had to drive about an hour away to Walterboro to get medical care since there wasn't any in Edisto. That wasn't fun too say the least. But regardless I'm glad to be back and still spend time with my baby. I love him so much. We went and got registered at FTCC, so that's good. A part of me is happy that I decided to wait on UNCW and just stay close to him and home. I feel also like it will be a good opportunity to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life. But other then that.... life is good, I miss my friends. Melissa is moved out of her house and stays out there some ways and Michele is usually busy with working or her boyfriend. But I'm never bored..... been working out a whole bunch, that always makes me feel good. Pretty soon I'm start kickin' up my running routine like it used to be. Me and Bryan always make time for eachother and that's wonderful. Alright well I need to get ready to go see him.

I've backspaced about fifty times by now but all I'm trying to get at is that I love Bryan Stanley more than anyone in the world. He's amazing, I see the real him I see what he's been through and I can't believe that he actually loves me in return. I truly, for once in such a long time am in love...... and this time.

Well this time it's right.